011. On Knowing When To Leave The Party
The smugness of doing the right thing, Broad Beans runneth over, and Big Boys forever.
Hello You! This is now a Big Boys fan newsletter! Have you watched it?! Did you cry?! Are you going to go back for your second view any time soon?! Huge hats off to Jack Rooke and everyone else involved - what a bloody gorgeous, funny, lovely show!
Today I talk about knowing when to walk away, and the smugness from doing the right thing, a little gardening update, and as always, some Really Good Reads™.
It takes a long time for most of us to work out when to walk away from something. A job, a relationship, a party. We stay out of habit, pride, pure bloody mindedness, no longer realising the situation no longer serves us, or that we are no longer serving the situation. As we get older, we talk a lot about stamina, and fortitude, but true grace comes from knowing when to leave the party. Ideally, before the lights are switched on and the vibe shift is palpable and suddenly you’re the last man standing on the dancefloor and you’re being dragged out in to the street kicking and screaming, begging for just one more song, one more dance, one more chance.
Akin to this is being someone who does the right thing, even when there’s no-one there to witness it. Like putting a rogue trolley back in the supermarket car park or picking up someone’s litter. Sometimes it’s as basic as simply following the rules, even if you think no-one will find out, no matter how silly you think they are. Especially if you wrote those rules. If you’re like me, some days can be fuelled by smugness alone. Simply knowing the universe will at some point later down the line pat me on the back for doing the right thing here and now is enough to make me take the slightly trickier option, the right option.
So, it’s strange to see people cling on, even when everyone else can see how things will inevitably end up. Watching friends stay in relationships that they aren’t happy in is always difficult. Sticking around in a job you no longer enjoy because you’re not sure what the other options are can feel paralysing. Sticking around in a job you feel entitled to despite never really qualifying for it is grotesque. Both can be true. The majority of us will never experience the latter, because deep down we are good people, and we have moral codes whose base line don’t lurk at the earths core. It’s a shame, then, that most of us will also never lead the country, because lord knows we could all do with some decency right now.
Micro Doses of Delight
The Cricket! Summer is under way and it might not be all woe and two and a half day tests. It was, dare I say, fun?! A stonking debut from Matty Potts, and a thrilling little run chase. It might not be fixed but I’m hopeful it won’t be total heartbreak.
My new favourite Instagram account - Cheap Nordic Houses. Does exactly what it says on the tin.
Speaking of people who do the right thing - James Timpson and his family business. From hiring ex-offenders, offering free dry cleaning if you’re unemployed and going for an interview and most recently offering to pay for HRT treatment for staff going through the menopause - Timpson shows that consistently doing the right thing isn’t always detrimental to business.
Finally - this seems kind of huge?! A trial of rectal cancer patients found that they’d all gone in to remission by the end of the six months. Obviously early days - but it feels like a huge cause to be cautiously buzzing by this?!
Garden Update
I finally have not one but two split leaves on my Monstera plant, who I’ve been tending to for nearly four years. Up until now I’ve had an abundance of boring whole leaves so to finally get some fenestration is a real joy! My dahlias are in, but I’ve planted them quite late so nothing’s happening there just yet, but my Gertrude Jekyll rose shrub has just arrived and it’s already hanging with buds, hopefully it won’t be too long until they open. The first of the veg crop has popped up and we are currently overrun with broad beans - so much so that I made this lush Ottolenghi broad bean and avocado dip to go with prawn tacos - hard recommend! (I also stuffed an unholy amount of coriander in with it too and highly recommend if that’s your bag!)
Broad Bean from patch, board to dip.
Very Good Reads & Watches™
Big Boys on channel 4 - Join Jack, a young lad struggling to come out, and Danny, an aggressively straight guy fighting with his mental health as they get thrown together in makeshift halls of residence. It’s been such a long time since I’ve cry-cackled watching something but Jack and Danny had me snorting with glee and then sobbing with woe in the same scene. Tender, funny, very very real, I wanted to give every single character a hug by the end. Gulp it in one sitting and come and talk to me all day long about it.
This profile of a fine dining chef who was made jobless during the pandemic and walked away from restaurants to cook for cancer patients is really great, and an eye opening look into the savage world of working in top kitchens.
I find everything Ella Risbridger writes to be so generous and full of heart, and I really love this piece in Vogue on therapy and why it’s worth it.
Finally - I had a sick day recently due to a troublesome tooth, and spent the morning watching this quietly mad but brilliant documentary on rare white truffle hunters, the beautiful relationships they have with their beloved dogs and the trickier associations they have with truffle sellers. Absolutely gorgeous theatrics. (The tooth has since been removed!)
The Truffle Hunters.
Thanks for reading and as always please do share with anyone you think will enjoy! If you have any TV recommendations, or literally any gardening advice please drop them in the comments below! I’d love to know what you’re growing. I’m off to stare at my rose shrub in an attempt to make the buds open by sheer force of will! Bye! N xo
Really perfect vibes here, courtesy of the Truffle Hunters, again.